We live in a throw-away society. Everything centers around convenience.
Throw-away plates, to save you doing dishes.
Throw-away napkins, polystyrene cups, single use shaving razors, disposable cameras, disposable diapers….the list of convenience, “throw-away” goods goes on. Even songs on the radio tell us to, “throw away your television”. We chuck Christmas trees once they’ve been used. We are suckers for an easy life.
So how about Throw-Away-Children? or Convenience-Kids?
I think there’s a niche in the market here.
It could appeal to people who already have children, AND also to potential parents, that may have thought otherwise about having children because of time/energy/money demands that children place on a family.
Convenience Kids.
-”For the busy parent.”
Being a parent is so ‘in’ right now. So fashionable. Anyone who’s anyone wants to be a parent.
But do you like so many others not have time to do homework with your child? Don’t have time to cook those time-consuming annoyingly healthy meals? Don’t have enough energy to throw a ball around at the park? To give your child advice?
We’ve found a way so you can still say, “I’ve got kids” and use interesting labels like “caring mother” or “hard-working parent” without the hassle of a long term child. “Convenience Kids!” It may be just the thing for you!
Rent-a-child for a family portraits, and social events. Then just leave him/her on the curb for re-collection. Simple and convenient.
Is your child throwing a tantrum? Why not just throw him away? You can do just that with our new and improved “Convenience-Kids”.
When the child rearing gets tough, when that child is demanding your attention, is having problems settling in at school, making friends, learning to tie his laces….just GET RID!
Now you really can throw the Baby Out With The Bath Water! It’s that simple!
You never again have to worry about what your child will grow up to be. Just chuck him out when he starts showing signs of bad parenting or defective genes.
“Convenience Kids” will save you money in the long run too.
As childhood obesity rates climb, “Convenience Kids” will save you money on food. Also “Convenience Kids” will save you money on school clothes, as children are forever growing, and with society’s new attention to “labels” and “diagnoses” you may just save a great deal of money on drugs such as Ritalin too! Why risk that psychotherapy bill in years to come, when you can nip the problem in the bud now?
Write off your children.Today.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It is apparently THAT easy.*
* “Convenience Kids” may come with mild side effects such as feelings of guilt or inability to sleep, but with our new drug “Guilt-Away” these can soon be reduced. “Guilt-Away” sold separately. Terms and Conditions Apply.
Conveniently Yours, Probable Sushi