Psycho-social-sexual-mental-schematic-somatic analysis

I believe that a great Psychologist of the Psycho-social-sexual-mental-schematic tradition once stated that having fantasies or fixations about boxes, handbags, or for that matter any other object with a space inside, meant that one was fixated with one's mother's womb. That one wished to be at that delightful pre-birth stage again where one's self and one's mother are still united.

The psycho-social-sexual-mental-schematic-somatic-analysts who focused on these pre-birthing experiences, also stated that the only way to over-come these obvious hurdles of wanting to be at one with one's mother again, was to go out and buy an oversized fish tank to throw oneself into…to recreate the pre-birth experience. For this to be an activated fully functioning pre-birthing experience one must fill this oversized fish tank up…No not with tropical fish…but with mint flavoured jelly. (I believe 2041 sachets are enough to fill a 608 litre fish tank. So the pre-birther can estimate the number of sachets to fill the tank of his size of choosing. I usually recommend a tank of approx. 30009 litres, give or take 10 litres.)

Once the tank is filled, one must plummet from extremely low heights (about 2cm above the tank) into the jelly, creating a warm squishing sound. If the sound is not acheived on the first plummeting, then one must try again-but only up to 5 times-to achieve this squish sound. (don't forget the squish must be a warm one)

Once this has been successfully done the box-fixated will be cured. However, sometimes it is appropriate to also hold an exorcism. Just in case.

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Do not try this at home unless supervised by someone trained and fully qualified in the psycho-social-sexual-mental-schematic-somatic-pre-birthing-analysis tradition. Even then goggles and other protective gear must be worn, and a doctor must be present. Also it is advised to have a wet cloth near by to wipe up any excess jelly that may overflow from the tank and onto the floor. Do not forget to read the small print on the packets of the jelly to prevent allergic reactions or discolouring of favourite garments of clothing.

Advised by the un-qualified Probable Sushi.