Live as though each minute is your last

Quick!
There may be no day after this one!
Perhaps the sun will set, and never rise again…We must live as though today is our last ever chance to…well…blog.
No but really….someone once told me that you should live every day as though you are dying. Very wise words.
I bet you would get a lot more out of [...]

The Comma

I would like to give the greeting of “Hello” to you all before I begin today’s lesson. I have taken a shortish-longish break from The Sushi Files, because, quite frankly, I have a thing for commas, as I am sure you can tell. Nonetheless, I is back again, and the brain-farting continues. Probable Sushi has [...]

Mid-Summer Solstice

Did you realise that today is the longest day of the year?
When you are at work today and time feels like it is crawling…just remember…it really is.
There will be nearly twice as much day time today as there is in the middle of the winter. Unless of course you are a lucky bastard that [...]

Life’s Shitty Little Surprises

* Hayfever induced skin rash.
* When you drink out of a can of coke that someone else has put their cigarette butt in.
* When you think you’re smart by bringing the EXACT change for a bus ticket but the bus fare has gone up and no one has told you.
* When someone decides that THEIR [...]

Friggin Feng Shui

I’ve just feng shui’ed my home.
I was having some money problems and a friend of mine recommended I give my home the once over with a feng shui book, to rid my self of any “negative vibes” She said it worked wonders for her.
It’s meant to harmonise your stressful energies or something…I need some de-stressing [...]

Faeces, excrement and other droppings.

I dont know anyone who likes stepping in dog shit.
Especially when you’re not expecting it…It can be one of the most stomach turning experiences. The worst is when it’s freshly produced and still rather warm and slimy, and somehow it makes it way into your sandals and inbetween your toes.
Now every living creature on earth [...]

Arachibutyrophobia-Not just hard to spell. Hard to live with.

I think I have developed a phobia. It used to be something I just didn’t like very much…but now it’s just spiraled out of control. The doctor called it ‘arachibutyrophobia’ or something like that…It’s a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
I mean I love peanut butter…But whenever it touches the [...]

Poo Monkeys and Chicken Helmets for the people.

Once upon a time there was a chicken monkey. He liked to poo under trees and eat raspberries. He just wanted a simple life-and who could blame him? Then one day a small boy came along and clubbed him over the head with a pool cue. When he regained consciousness he sat up and realised [...]

Carl’s Bird-So ugly that the Danes love to see her leave

Have you guys met Carl’s new bird?
Man she is ugly…Small and fat, and her hair is funny coloured and balding in patches. Really, no one can understand what Carl is doing with a girl like her. And he’s such a nice young man. She’s so rude too! What a mouth she’s got! Always swearing…I’ve never [...]

What not to cook when you have dinner guests-unless you wish them dead.

This is a fairly simple dish to make. I like to call it apple surprise, because the surprise is that there are no apples in it.
Ingredients needed:
1 succulent wild chicken (no innards)
3 ripened tomatoes
2 abhorrent rotten aubergines
5 table spoons of lemon juice
3 tsps of chili
3 tsps of curry powder
a dash of salt
a dash of pepper
4 [...]