Mid-Summer Solstice

Did you realise that today is the longest day of the year?
When you are at work today and time feels like it is crawling…just remember…it really is.

There will be nearly twice as much day time today as there is in the middle of the winter. Unless of course you are a lucky bastard that lives near the equater, with tropical cocktails, beaches and exotic flowers in your hair. (Not that the beaches and cocktails are in your hair…but you know what I mean…)(Unless of course you got drunk, got a bit rowdy and had a sand fight, and there’s now sand and alcohol stuck to your scalp…)(You lucky bastard)

Well I suggest we celebrate the Pagan way and rise with the sun, dancing and chearing and eating good food…at 3.30am GMT.
Oh, wait, it’s too late for that.

Well the dancing could still happen. Did I mention that it’s naked dancing?
Okay, so maybe that’s not so good if you’re going to work…

How about the chanting happily and drinking wine and good food?
Okay, if you work in an office maybe the chanting isnt so good. Nor is it appropriate if you are working in a funeral home. (Or even as an undercover cop.)

So maybe we’ll just celebrate discretely.

Here’s how:
If in office…tell your boss you’re working hard on those ‘files’ he gave you, so you will be busy for the next 30/40…well all day…so not to disturb you.
Then deactivate any fire alarms that there may be in your building, and close the blinds in your office, so no one can peer in at you through the scummy windows.
Then slink back to your desk and open that hidden bottle of wine, or better yet, vodka, in your desk drawer. Drink (in a secretive way) to your hearts content. Then take out pictures of Pagan Gods and Goddesses and stick them all over the walls with blue tack.
Now, make a small fire using only natural things such as wooden twigs and dry leaves. (you may wish to go to nearest park or woodland to collect these-tell boss you are visiting a ‘client’)
Once fire is going strong (did i mention to do this in your desk drawer also, so that you dont get caught?) scatter exotic flowers on the flames and chant over and over again (approx 12 times) THE SUN IS OUR GOD, HE/SHE DRIVES WINTER AWAY!
If you do not have any exotic flowers I will give you the contact details of a contact of mine that lives near the equator…He can hook you up.

Then, dance around your spinning office chair in an anti-clockwise direction (preferable without clothes on) Shouting that it is the shortest eve, and the longest day of the year. Do this discretely.

Then, when you are done, light 13 candles and scatter ashes in each corner of the building. You may also wish to scatter some salt by the doors for protection. Just for good measure.

And then it is done.
Above all else, smile whilst all this is going on, and if anybody asks…Well I’m sure no one will ask…because you have been doing all this in a subtle quiet way.
Enjoy.

-Probable Sushi.