My Recent Confession

Sinner: Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: When was your last confession?
Sinner: More than ten years ago.

Sinner: *takes deep breath* I threw a glass of water in the face of a cripple.
Priest: Why did you do that my son?
Sinner: I dont know Father. He just looked so happy, that I couldn’t help myself.
Priest: Is there anything else my son?

Sinner: Well yes….it was on the cripple’s birthday.
*shuffles nervously in seat* It was his 18th.
Priest: *hesitates* ..Is there anything else my son?
Sinner: Yes.

Priest: Go on my son…
Sinner: I didn’t get him what he wanted for his birthday. He wanted a train set…He said he liked to watch the trains going round, he liked to watch them from his chair…I got him a frozen chicken in stead. *gulps guiltily*

Priest: Why did you do this my son? You know that the disabled have very few pleasures in life.
Sinner: I know Father…I know. But I had been drinking.
Priest: Alcohol?
Sinner: Yes.
Priest: So you illtreated a crippled boy on his 18th birthday and tormented him whilst you were drunk?
Sinner: *sobs* Yes Father.

Priest: You must do the same as last time.
Sinner: As last time Father? Really? Must I?
Priest: Yes. You know the procedure.
Sinner: *is silent*
Priest: Go home and pray for forgiveness. Then 500 hail Marys while you stand on your head.
Sinner: Thank you Father, thank you.
*starts to leave*

Priest: Oh and my son?
Sinner: Yes Father?
Priest: You must never eat lemons again.

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Nearly a true story, by Probable Sushi.