The Best Recipe For Christmas Pudding

Take a handful of sultanas and dried apricots,throw them into a large bowl and add some raisins and spiteful relatives and mix well.

Pour in two measures of brandy and leave to soak for the duration of a family argument.

Once the argument is over then add the candied lemon peel and stir for two minutes. Then leave the mixture and a sobbing aunt in the kitchen along with a stressed out mother who is trying to time the christmas dinner perfectly.

Once the aunt has stopped crying then send in three rowdy children (preferably children that dont like each other-and for added flavour pull the smallest ones pig-tails first to make her wail loudly) who all want their presents early.

After some commotion in the kitchen due to the loud children, and excessive wrapping paper then add the nutmeg and cinnamon to the bowl. Do not stir just yet.

Wait for the bulimic cousin to come in and eat some chocolate spice cookies first. Once you have asked her if she knows just how fattening they are, wait for her to run to the upstairs bathroom, then once you know she is up there, then it is time for you to stir…

Next, throw in some unwanted presents from people you cant stand but always make small talk with, and invite over your drunken uncle. Once this is done you add three more bottles of whiskey and/or brandy to the mix and half an egg yolk.

When all this is done and someone has stepped on the chihuahua dog, then it is time to serve the pudding.

Serve with clotted cream and enjoy with the rest of your self-indulgent relatives.
Bon Appetite!

Concocted byProbable Sushi