Twisted and tangled in webs of my thoughts and fears,
Unsure of the future, confused of the past and uncertain of today,
I am left with nothing more than questions of who and where.

Uncle Sushi

They’re coming. They’re right behind me. I’m running as fast as I can, but they’re catching up. I need to run faster. If they catch me, there’s no telling what they’ll do. I’m running and tiring out fast. I can barely keep going, but I have to. I have to run, I have to. I wish I never left the others behind, but I had no choice; they were reluctant to come. They seemed brave enough to stand up against them. They’re crazy. How can they be brave enough to face them. How come I couldn’t? I’m running, they’re coming. I have to keep moving. Where are the others? Are they still standing there? Let me look back… no, wait. I can’t look back, if I slow down, they might catch up. I have to keep going. I losing my strength, I have to stop. I can’t. I can’t. I need to keep moving. I’m so tired and drained. I’m slowing down, my body can’t go on much longer. I’m slowing down. I’m sure they’re inches away from me. I’m slowing down. I’ve stopped. Let me brace myself before they get me – there’s no telling what they’re going to do. I’m crouched, sweating, out of breathe… why aren’t they attacking me? Where am I? I look up and see nothing. Not a soul in the world. But where are they? Did I lose them? Let me head back and make sure the others are okay. A long, lonely walk back, and I finally get back – alone and tired, but I’m sure they’re all dead. They must have gotten to them. What’s this! They’re all where I left them! So much has changed, but they all seem alright. Where are the chasers? They were after us all! Gone? When did they leave? They never came!? So why did I run? I’ve wasted so much time. Man, I wish I hadn’t run away at all. Look what I’ve lost. They’re all where I left them, they’re all fine; and so much has changed. How can I catch up? I can’t. It’s too late. I need to start anew. Let me find somewhere else to start anew… but let me run fast, I’ve wasted so much time, I need to make up for it. I’m running, again, but I can’t find anyone else. Where is everybody? I’m too tired to go on. I can’t make it. Let me head back, at least I won’t be alone. Everything’s changed again. What’s going on? I’m still the same. I haven’t grown. Why did everyone change? I can’t handle this. Let me go and find others. Let me run again and find my way. I’m tired, and I don’t know how much longer I can go on. But let me try. I have to try.

Coughed up by Uncle Sushi

I like chicken.

I like chicken because it has skin.

-Probable Sushi

Cheese.

Cheese. Cheese…Glorious cheese.

Delightful cheese!

Delicious geese!

I love cheese because cheese can be eaten on its own!

…In lumps, or morsels. Or slivers off the end of a knife.

 I love geese, because geese can be eaten on their own!

…In lumps or morsels. Or slivers off the end of a knife.

Cheese.

Some people put jam on top of it. Some people melt it. Some people say that it smells. But all people see it.

On the shelves in the supermarket…cheese! Cheese! CHEESE!

GLORIOUS CHEESE!

Some cheeses have wrappers. Some cheeses you have to peel. But all cheeses can be eaten on crackers or just before bed time.

I say: Hear Hear To Cheese! We salute your versatility!

You go with all things!

Bread, crackers, meats and burger buns! Garlic breads, bacon, pasta, and poultry! Pizza wouldn't exist if it weren't for you, cheese!

Austrian cheeses! Processed cheeses! Mature cheeses! Slimey green cheeses! Hard cheeses! Soft spread cheeses!

Emmenthal, Red Leister, Roquefort, Camembert, Mature Cheddar, Danish Blue, Edam, Feta, Havarti…All Gods in my refridgerator! Elevated to top shelf status! All lined up with best before dates facing outward! Surrounded by other, lesser foods in the heirachy of refridgeratedness!

My grandmother always used to say…There's nothing better than feta cheese crumbeling in your hands on a warm sunny day in July.

And she used to tell us how unlucky it was to open umbrellas inside the house, or eat cheese in the shed.

But I am sad and unhappy.

For all the cheese is missing and the geese are all gone now.

Sushified by Probable Sushi.

Trapped in the rut that you’ve created for yourself

…as a safety net…

Distortion of life all around.

Thanatos grips your legs,

Trapping you,

Stifling your swirling essence.

Watching the trees as their leaves wither,

As the colour drains from your inner flower’s petals,

You cry not for what you have lost,

but for what you have allowed yourself to throw away.

Searching-feels so close, so nearby;

Within reach…

Then as you turn your back on what you’ve found;

On yourself,

You cry aimlessly.

Wake Up!

Emotionally brain farted by: Probable Sushi

As you sit there,

glumly draining,

lethargically wallowing.

Expecting our words to manifest your comfort,

ushering us into your world,

to be scattered…

I turn to you and give you my truth;

The sound of brittle glass shattering is heard inside your head.

You are so caught up in this game,

True self long forgotten.

You have become your role,

merging with the vessel in front of me,

swallowing it,

being engulfed by the feeling-the restrictedness;

Frightened, angry, mortal.

Winning another oscar for your performance,

You’re mortified as he takes it away.

You clawing at his cloaked face is useless,

as the sound of bone rubbing against bone,

instills claustrophobia in your empty, forgotten, hollow shell.

You scream as he takes your oscar away,

your performance-your self.

You scream as he takes ‘you’ away.

Why dont you wake up?

That’s not you-just your shell.

Copyrighted by Probable Sushi

CD’s, cars, elbows;

Scratched. Red.

Dishes, glasses, hearts;

Broken. Gone

Onions, money, glances;

Stolen. Confessed.

Photos, car keys, happiness;

Lost. Searched for.

Finders’ keepers, losers’ weepers.

Can I ever? Will I ever?
I never could. I never will.
Or so I felt.
This battle within myself – to push against the pull.
Me against my world.
My world built on delusion and confusion, love and hate,
It’s a powerful force that burns inside me,
Forever pulling against my push.
An unseen scale, weighing down my own self destruction.
It seems as though the closer I get,
THe further I really am.
A hole. Dug deep. And I’m in it.
I’m trying to free myself from this open grave,
And be in the world where freedom is the air.
But each attempt to raise up,
Brings me down to a hole that is deeper, more constricting.
My journey continues,
My struggle lives on.
Is it that I need help?
A hand lent down to pull me out?
Or is it my arm that needs to grow?

Emotionally brain-farted by: Uncle Sushi