We live in a throw-away society. Everything centers around convenience.

Throw-away plates, to save you doing dishes.

Throw-away napkins, polystyrene cups, single use shaving razors, disposable cameras, disposable diapers….the list of convenience, “throw-away” goods goes on. Even songs on the radio tell us to, “throw away your television”. We chuck Christmas trees once they’ve been used. We are suckers for an easy life.

So how about Throw-Away-Children? or Convenience-Kids?

I think there’s a niche in the market here.

It could appeal to people who already have children, AND also to potential parents, that may have thought otherwise about having children because of time/energy/money demands that children place on a family.

Convenience Kids.

-”For the busy parent.”

Being a parent is so ‘in’ right now. So fashionable. Anyone who’s anyone wants to be a parent.

But do you like so many others not have time to do homework with your child? Don’t have time to cook those time-consuming annoyingly healthy meals? Don’t have enough energy to throw a ball around at the park? To give your child advice?

We’ve found a way so you can still say, “I’ve got kids” and use interesting labels like “caring mother” or “hard-working parent” without the hassle of a long term child. “Convenience Kids!” It may be just the thing for you!

Rent-a-child for a family portraits, and social events. Then just leave him/her on the curb for re-collection. Simple and convenient.

Is your child throwing a tantrum? Why not just throw him away? You can do just that with our new and improved “Convenience-Kids”.

When the child rearing gets tough, when that child is demanding your attention, is having problems settling in at school, making friends, learning to tie his laces….just GET RID!

Now you really can throw the Baby Out With The Bath Water! It’s that simple!

You never again have to worry about what your child will grow up to be. Just chuck him out when he starts showing signs of bad parenting or defective genes.

“Convenience Kids” will save you money in the long run too.

As childhood obesity rates climb, “Convenience Kids” will save you money on food. Also “Convenience Kids” will save you money on school clothes, as children are forever growing, and with society’s new attention to “labels” and “diagnoses” you may just save a great deal of money on drugs such as Ritalin too! Why risk that psychotherapy bill in years to come, when you can nip the problem in the bud now?

Write off your children.Today.

Out of sight, out of mind.

It is apparently THAT easy.*

* “Convenience Kids” may come with mild side effects such as feelings of guilt or inability to sleep, but with our new drug “Guilt-Away” these can soon be reduced. “Guilt-Away” sold separately. Terms and Conditions Apply.

Conveniently Yours, Probable Sushi

I just thought I ought to drop a line or two since neither I, nor Uncle Sushi, have written or published anything for the longest time…hmmm.

I wonder why that is?

Is it because the price of TuRkeys have gone up?
(Turkeys with a capital ‘T’ and ‘R’ you wonder dear friends and viewers?? Why yes indeed, for I am talking of the sacred creature The TuRkey…The long-legged TuRkey. Look it up if you’re not familar. It is worshipped in many cultures as being a rain bringing deity.)

Or is it because we have gotten bored?

Or is it because we were hospitalised due to severe flasbacks from our days in Nam?

Or is it because we were out investigating new realms?

I can only speak for myself, as I cannot ventriloquise for Uncle Sushi or our other representatives….But I myself was exploring other means of communication and other realms….This involved having seances to communicate with the dead, and joining face book to reach the living…

However, stay semi-tuned for more…For there will be more my friends, oh yes, there will be more…

Brought to you today on this sunny Tuesday afternoon/eve by Probable Sushi

*wonders why Uncle Sushi is angry*

Probable Sushi speculates.

I had a Past Life Diagnosis done and it was quite interesting. All you have to do is enter your birth date.

To get a flavour for it here is mine:

‘Your past life diagnosis:
I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Yukon around the year 1675. Your profession was that of a leader, major or captain.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
It always seemed to you that your perceptions of the world are somewhat different. Your lesson is to trust your intuition as your best guide in your present life.

Do you remember now?’

Regressed by Probable Sushi

Check out this list for ideas of what we each can do in our everyday lives to prevent more damage to our planet.

http://www.stopglobalwarming.org/sgw_actionitems.asp

-Probable Sushi

The information below is taken from this web page:
http://www.stopglobalwarming.org/sgw_learnmore.asp

Global warming isn’t opinion. It’s a scientific reality. And the science tells us that human activity has made enormous impacts to our planet that affect our well-being and even our survival as a species.

The world’s leading science journals report that glaciers are melting ten times faster than previously thought, that atmospheric greenhouse gases have reached levels not seen for millions of years, and that species are vanishing as a result of climate change. They also report of extreme weather events, long-term droughts, and rising sea levels.

Fortunately, the science also tells us how we can begin to make significant repairs to try and reverse those impacts, but only through immediate action. That’s why we urge you to join us. The Stop Global Warming Virtual March is virtual but its purpose is real. By spreading the word and sharing this with others, our collective power will force governments, corporations, and politicians everywhere to pay attention.

What is Global Warming?

The Earth as an ecosystem is changing, attributable in great part to the effects of globalization and man. More carbon dioxide is now in the atmosphere than has been in the past 650,000 years. This carbon stays in the atmosphere, acts like a warm blanket, and holds in the heat — hence the name ‘global warming.’

The reason we exist on this planet is because the earth naturally traps just enough heat in the atmosphere to keep the temperature within a very narrow range – this creates the conditions that give us breathable air, clean water, and the weather we depend on to survive. Human beings have begun to tip that balance. We’ve overloaded the atmosphere with heat-trapping gasses from our cars and factories and power plants. If we don’t start fixing the problem now, we’re in for devastating changes to our environment. We will experience extreme temperatures, rises in sea levels, and storms of unimaginable destructive fury. Recently, alarming events that are consistent with scientific predictions about the effects of climate change have become more and more commonplace.

Environmental Destruction

The massive ice sheets in the Arctic are melting at alarming rates. This is causing the oceans to rise. That’s how big these ice sheets are! Most of the world’s population lives on or near the coasts. Rising ocean levels, an estimated six feet over the next 100 years or sooner, will cause massive devastation and economic catastrophe to population centers worldwide.

The United States, with only four percent of the world’s population, is responsible for 22% of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions. A rapid transition to energy efficiency and renewable energy sources will combat global warming, protect human health, create new jobs, protect habitat and wildlife, and ensure a secure, affordable energy future.

Health Risks

Malaria. Dengue Fever. Encephalitis. These names are not usually heard in emergency rooms and doctors’ offices in the United States. But if we don’t act to curb global warming, they will be. As temperatures rise, disease-carrying mosquitoes and rodents spread, infecting people in their wake. Doctors at the Harvard Medical School have linked recent U.S. outbreaks of dengue fever, malaria, hantavirus and other diseases directly to climate change.

Catastrophic Weather

Super powerful hurricanes, fueled by warmer ocean temperatures are the “smoking gun” of global warming. Since 1970, the number of category 4 and 5 events has jumped sharply. Human activities are adding an alarming amount of pollution to the earth’s atmosphere causing catastrophic shifts in weather patterns. These shifts are causing severe heat, floods and worse.
—–

A real eye opener isn’t it?
-Probable Sushi

I have to be the first to admit that usually The Sushi Files is full of silliness, but for once (or twice) I wish to be serious for a moment.
So here we go…

As our climate starts to change in more and more obvious ways every day a question lurks in my mind:
‘Are we all doomed?’

This post is dedicated to global warming…and the things we each can do to help the planet. Not just with battling global warming, but in any way that will help eliminate waste, make less waste…or even reuse the waste we have. Hey, anything to make our planet a friendlier, cleaner, healthier place to live.

In the comments section please feel free to leave your own amazing creative suggestions.
For inspiration check out these sites and blogs:

http://eastvillageidiot.com/2007/01/11/a-post-holiday-carol/

http://www.climatecrisis.net/blog/

http://www.greatgifts.org/GiftSelection/home.aspx

http://www.wearewhatwedo.org/index.php

http://www.wasteonline.org.uk

This is beautiful-but is it a waste of energy?
Night Sky-Europe

Night Sky-America

Suggested by Probable Sushi

Take a handful of sultanas and dried apricots,throw them into a large bowl and add some raisins and spiteful relatives and mix well.

Pour in two measures of brandy and leave to soak for the duration of a family argument.

Once the argument is over then add the candied lemon peel and stir for two minutes. Then leave the mixture and a sobbing aunt in the kitchen along with a stressed out mother who is trying to time the christmas dinner perfectly.

Once the aunt has stopped crying then send in three rowdy children (preferably children that dont like each other-and for added flavour pull the smallest ones pig-tails first to make her wail loudly) who all want their presents early.

After some commotion in the kitchen due to the loud children, and excessive wrapping paper then add the nutmeg and cinnamon to the bowl. Do not stir just yet.

Wait for the bulimic cousin to come in and eat some chocolate spice cookies first. Once you have asked her if she knows just how fattening they are, wait for her to run to the upstairs bathroom, then once you know she is up there, then it is time for you to stir…

Next, throw in some unwanted presents from people you cant stand but always make small talk with, and invite over your drunken uncle. Once this is done you add three more bottles of whiskey and/or brandy to the mix and half an egg yolk.

When all this is done and someone has stepped on the chihuahua dog, then it is time to serve the pudding.

Serve with clotted cream and enjoy with the rest of your self-indulgent relatives.
Bon Appetite!

Concocted byProbable Sushi

And he just walked in….In the middle of everything!
This guy actually thought he was the new messiah.

Sitting down next to the young one, he completely ignored her. That had certainly never been done before. As they wheeled in the trays of pastrami and German Bratwurst sausage, she scrutinized him. She made up her mind quickly.

The audacity.

-Probable Sushi

I’d like to apologise for not having been around for a while.
Sushi Files has had some behind the scenes troubles. Financially we have had a low, and with oil prices being high, we nearly had to close down. Personal issues have been at an all time high as well, and since our company therapist quit recently, this lead to some severe communicative misunderstandings.

Anyway I have bad news folks.
It seems that Uncle Sushi is no longer with us. I have apparently killed him.
But don’t worry, we have some scientists working on the resurrection at the moment, so he should be back with us shortly.
Also, since he will need time to recover, there may be a few additions to the team…Amongst others a neuro-surgeon, a librarian, and an ex-Nam military sergeant.

So don’t fret-SUSHI FILES lives on!

-Probable Sushi